PHILEMON 1:8-21
FORGIVING CONDUCT
Part 2 of a 2 Part Series
(This was an evening service message.)
Dennis J. De Haan – “The rubber plant I bought for my wife Dorothy added a touch of life to our home. But one morning its leaves were dropping as if in a state of dejection. I wondered what happened.
“When I came home for lunch that noon, the plant was completely transformed. It looked as hearty as it did the day I got it from the store. Its leaves were extended outward once again. When I asked Dorothy about it, she told me of reading a household hint on how to keep plants looking fresh. It stated that dust accumulating on the leaves can actually prevent the light from getting to them, so it's necessary to wipe them off regularly. She had done this and the result was amazing.
“As we live in this world, tiny "particles" of sin can easily build up in our lives. Resentments, sharp words, impure thoughts, or selfish attitudes all take their toll on our spiritual vitality. Unless they are confessed right away, they begin to form a layer of "dust" that prevents us from experiencing the light of God's grace in our hearts. Those around us will sense that something is wrong.” http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb-07-06-05.shtml
Some of the tiny particles that can hurt our personal testimony and make it droop are those of unforgiveness.
We return to the little Prison Epistle of Philemon this week.
Last week we met the wealthy Christian man who had a church in his home, Philemon. We also met his run away slave who had also become a Christian, Onesimus. We were also reintroduced to Paul, who had led both of these men to Christ and was now encouraging Philemon to forgive his run away slave.
Last week we saw the ingredients of a “Forgiving Character” as we looked at the first seven verses of this little Epistle.
This week we return to Philemon to examine verses 8-21 where we want to find out exactly what “Forgiving Conduct” is.
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECEIVE – Vss. 12, 17
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPECT – Vss. 11, 12, 14
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECLAIM – Vss. 15-16
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RELEASE – Vss. 18-19
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE REFRESH – Vs. 20
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
Usually, when we choose to forgive we are responding to an appeal.
It might be the appeal of the person who has offended us, seeking forgiveness.
It might be the appeal of a Scripture verse that we’ve read or heard preached.
It might the appeal of the Holy Spirit that simply seems to be saying from deep within us, “Forgive!”
It might be the appeal of a friend who is trying to help both parties get beyond the problem of unforgiveness.
When we receive an appeal to forgive it is then our duty to respond.
Vs. 8 – In the case of Philemon, it was his friend, Paul, the one who led him to the Lord and an Apostle that was calling on him to forgive Onesimus.
Notice, however, that Paul is gentle in his appeal. He is not playing “hard ball” with Philemon.
He wasn’t just going to command something that needed to be done, although he well could have.
Paul could have been more bold and demanding than he was.
This is something that we need to remember. Most often a gentle appeal will work better than a harsh demand.
Galatians 6:1 - Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Vs. 9 – The appeal that Paul gave to Philemon was based on love. In deed love is the best reason for us to do what is right.
Paul was considered old for that day, around 60.
Paul was in prison.
Out of love for an old friend who had fallen on difficult times, Philemon was to forgive.
I am reminded of another friend, the Lord Jesus Christ. Based on my love for Him, I need to forgive.
Ephesians 4:32 - And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Vs. 10 – Paul makes a specific appeal to which Philemon had to respond. It was for someone Philemon knew well. It was his run away slave by the name of Onesimus.
As loving a Christian Onesimus appears to be, Onesimus would have been a challenge to Philemon’s sense of forgiveness. Here was someone who had cost him money as a missing piece of property (That’s how slaves were viewed, as property.).
He had run away, making it look like Philemon was not a very good master. Apparently he had also stolen from Philemon.
Now Paul refers to this slave, who is probably standing right in front of Philemon as he read’s Paul’s letter, as his “son” who he bore during his bonds or imprisonment.
Paul calls him “son” because he is the spiritual father of Onesimus. He led him to faith in Christ.
Those we lead to the Lord are special to us. God allows us to have a special bond.
Now Philemon is forced to make a decision about Onesimus. I am assuming that Onesimus included his own apology. Philemon would respond, but how?
· He could respond in anger, refusing to forgive.
· He could delay forgiveness by putting Onesimus “on trial” to see if he is sincere.
· He could claim to forgive but secretly or not so secretly hold a grudge.
· He could do as Paul requested, forgive Onesimus with no strings attached.
When you are called upon to forgive you will respond in one of the same ways.
· You can refuse to forgive.
· You can delay forgiveness and put the person “on trial”.
· You can claim to forgive and hold a grudge.
· You can forgive with no strings attached.
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECEIVE – Vss. 12, 17
Vs. 12 – When we forgive someone we are actually receiving them.
We are receiving someone back into our fellowship.
We are receiving someone putting the past under the blood.
We are receiving someone as if nothing has happened. They are forgiven.
Paul wanted to Philemon to receive Onesimus who was “his own bowels”. Today we would say, “He is on my heart”, “He is dear or precious to me.”
Has it ever occurred to you, that when the Lord Jesus asks you to forgive a fellow Christian, that Christian is as precious to the Lord Jesus as you are! He is just as loved, and just as cared for as you are.
When Jesus asks you to forgive a fellow Christian, it is as if He is saying, “My child I want you to forgive this person because, he like you, is on my heart.”
Vs. 17 – Paul is saying, “If you consider me your partner in the cause of Christ, then receive him as you would receive me.”
Can you picture the Lord Jesus saying this to us about someone that we need to forgive, “If you are partnered with me, then receive this person as you would me.”
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECEIVE – Vss. 12, 17
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPECT - Vss. 11, 13, 14
Onesimus could have avoided coming back to Philemon.
Philemon needed to respect Onesimus for his humble return, realizing that he could receive severe punishment.
Vs. 11 – A person who is truly repentant is a changed person.
Onesimus’ name meant “useful”. Paul was playing on words. “Useful, who had shown himself useless, was now truly useful.”
Vs. 13 – Onesimus was so useful to Paul that Paul would have liked to have kept him around. He could have been kind of substitute for the help that Philemon might have given Paul.
Vs. 14 – Paul could have kept Onesimus with him. There would have been nothing that Philemon could have done about it. If Onesimus was going to serve Paul, it was going to be with Philemon’s blessing.
And Onesimus could not have been completely right until he had made peace with his master and received forgiveness or at least tried to receive forgiveness.
Matthew 5:23-24 - Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; [24] Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
Paul understood what it was to have someone intervene after sinning.
Remember that Paul had persecuted the church in his early years, and when he went to Jerusalem after being saved, the church was hesitant to receive him. They were afraid that he wasn’t really repentant, and that they could be hurt by him again.
It was Barnabas who brought Paul into the fellowship.
Acts 9:26-28 - And when Saul was come to Jerusalem, he assayed to join himself to the disciples: but they were all afraid of him, and believed not that he was a disciple. [27] But Barnabas took him, and brought him to the apostles, and declared unto them how he had seen the Lord in the way, and that he had spoken to him, and how he had preached boldly at Damascus in the name of Jesus. [28] And he was with them coming in and going out at Jerusalem.
Through Barnabas’ intervention Paul became respected by those he had offended.
Through Paul’s intervention, Philemon was to respect the repentant person who had offended him.
In both cases it was respect for a person who was now making things right.
When someone who has offended you tries to make it right, respect him for it.
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECEIVE – Vss. 12, 17
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPECT – Vss. 11, 12, 14
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECLAIM – Vss. 15-16
Vs. 15 – Paul is suggesting that Onesimus might have had to leave, had to be a run away, so that Philemon could have him back forever.
Indeed, Philemon and Onesimus are in eternity together.
Theirs became a permanent dwelling together.
Onesimus had to go down before he could come up.
That’s true of many a person who has repented. They have to go down before they come up.
Matthew 5:3-4 - Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. [4] Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Vs. 16 – Paul is not necessarily suggesting freedom for a slave.
Paul is suggesting a restoration of this slave into his master’s good graces.
When forgiveness occurs, that’s exactly where we need to put the person who is forgiven – back in our good graces!
Onesimus was now a brother in Christ.
He was more valuable not only in the flesh, the work that he did for Philemon, but also because he was now a beloved brother in Christ.
1 Peter 3:8 - Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
When we forgive a fellow Christian we are reclaiming him or her as a brother or sister.
We are either establishing or reestablishing a loving fellowship.
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECEIVE – Vss. 12, 17
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPECT – Vss. 11, 12, 14
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECLAIM – Vss. 15-16
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RELEASE – Vss. 18-19
Vs. 18 – This is a great statement on Paul’s part. If Onesimus owed anything to Philemon because he had stolen, Paul says “Put that on my account”.
That reminds me of why I should be forgiving.
The Lord Jesus has already said to our Heavenly Father, “Put the sins of Jack Peters on my account.
Jesus already paid my sin debt.
He already put it on his account.
Vs. 19 - Paul is asking Philemon to release Onesimus from any obligation that Onesimus has. If necessary, Paul would pay Onesimus’ debt. But, Paul also reminded Philemon how much he owed Paul. Paul had led Philemon to Christ as well as Onesimus.
When we forgive someone we are releasing them from responsibility. They no longer owe us anything.
Jesus told a parable that shows how serious a thing it is that we release people of responsibility and forgive.
Matthew 18:23-35 - Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. [24] And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. [25] But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. [26] The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. [27] Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. [28] But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest. [29] And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. [30] And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt. [31] So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done. [32] Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
[33] Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? [34] And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. [35] So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Christ has released us. Let us release others.
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECEIVE – Vss. 12, 17
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPECT – Vss. 11, 12, 14
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECLAIM – Vss. 15-16
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RELEASE – Vss. 18-19
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE REFRESH – Vs. 20
Vs. 20 – Paul is saying, “Refresh my heart. Let me have joy.”
Paul would have been refreshed and joyful as Philemon forgave Onesimus.
You will make many a person refreshed and joyful when you forgive those who have wronged you.
Most of all you will refresh the heart of your Lord and Savior who taught us to forgive by His own actions and His words.
Do you want to refresh the heart of your Savior and Lord?
Forgive others as He has forgiven you.
The Lord Jesus will be refreshed!
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPOND – Vss. 8-10, 21
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECEIVE – Vss. 12, 17
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RESPECT – Vss. 11, 12, 14
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RECLAIM – Vss. 15-16
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE RELEASE – Vss. 18-19
WHEN WE FORGIVE, WE REFRESH – Vs. 20