MATTHEW 5:27-32 - PAGE 1

MAKE HER HAPPY, AM 5/11/03

#12 - SERMON ON THE MOUNT

 

The love behind a gift is more important than the gift itself. The person who has learned this will not be frustrated because his gift is small, like the husband who wrote the following lament to his wife on Mother’s Day:

M is for the mink coat you want, dear,

O is for the opal ring you crave,

T is for the tiny car you’d love, sweet,

H is for the hat that makes you rave,

E is for the earrings you’d admire, love,

R is for the rug on which you’d tread;

Put them all together, they spell bankrupt,

So I’m giving you this handkerchief instead.

Our Daily Bread, May 11 http://www.bible.org/illus/m/m-65.htm#TopOfPage

 

In March 1990 Dr. McQuilkin, President of Columbia

Bible College, whose wife suffered from the advanced ravages of Alzheimer's disease, announced his resignation in a letter with these words:

 

My dear wife, Muriel, has been in failing mental health for about eight years.  So far I have been able to carry both her ever-growing needs and my leadership responsibilities at CBC.  But recently it has become apparent that Muriel is contented most of the time she is with me and almost none of the time I am away from her. It is not just "discontent."  She is filled with fear — even terror — that she has lost me and always goes in search of me when I leave home.  Then she may be full of anger when she cannot get to me.  So it is clear to me that she needs me now, full-time.

 

Perhaps it would help you to understand if I shared with you what I shared at the time of the announcement of my resignation in chapel.  The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel "in sickness and in

health...till death do us part."  So, as I told the students and faculty, as a man of my word, integrity has something to do with it.  But so does fairness.  She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of debt. Duty, however, can be grim and stoic.  But there is more; I love Muriel.  She is a delight to me — her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love, occasional flashes of that wit I used to relish so, her happy spirit and tough resilience in the face of her continual

distressing frustration.  I do not have to care for her, I get to!  It is a high honor to care for so wonderful a person.

Source: R. Kent Hughes Disciplines of a Godly Man

 

Today is Mother's Day, and I want to primarily talk to husbands and those who will be husbands some day.  You ladies can learn as well, but I want to share with your husbands how they can make you truly happy.  Men you can make your wives truly happy when you understand Biblical principles of marriage and live by them.

 

As part of our study this morning, we will continue receiving teaching on righteousness from the Sermon on the Mount, but I am expanding the message beyond Matthew 5:27-32, our text for this morning.

So how do we make our wives happy with a Biblical marriage?

 

UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE

 

Please turn to Genesis chapter 1.

As you turn, please let me remind you that marriage is not something that evolved. Marriage is not something that just happened. Marriage is not the social invention of man.

 

It was God who instituted marriage at creation.

It was God who decided men and women should become husbands and wives.

And because this institution comes from God, it is therefore sacred, and holy, and one of the most important commitments you have ever made or will make.

 

In Genesis 1 and 2 I have found three purposes for marriage.

 

·        CHILDREN

 

Genesis 1:27-28 - So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. [28] And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

 

It was God who said, "Be fruitful, and multiply."

It was God who said, "Have children."

It was God who said in Psalm 127:3 - Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

 

In these verses God speaks of subduing the earth. Something that man has failed to do because of sin. It will be Christ who will ultimately subdue it. However, husbands, has the value of precious boys and girls brought up in Christ ever occurred to you? If you and your wife train your children in the things of Christ, your children will most likely follow your pattern.  They will marry Christian mates who will also train their children.  While the earth will not be subdued, it will certainly have the Light of the World, the Lord Jesus, shinning through it!

   

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

 

Men, raising the kids is not just the wife's responsibility.

It is your responsibility as well.  In fact, as the head of the family, you are to make sure that your children are raised in a Godly fashion.   

Ephesians 6:4 - And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

 

Most Christian women are very happy when a husband understands that one of the purposes for marriage is having children, and raising them in a Godly manner.

 

I realize that not every couple is capable of having children. But those who are capable should have children.

   

Husbands, understand that one of the purposes for marriage is having children.  Another purpose for marriage is

 

·        PARTNERSHIP OR COMPANIONSHIP

 

Genesis 2:18 - And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

 

God did not intend that most of us men should survive without our wives. 

God is telling us here that He intended for women to be more that objects of physical attraction and a bearer of children.

God intended for the wife to be a helpmeet, a confidant, a sharer in life.

 

Proverbs 18:22 - Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

 

Now each home divides chores differently, but in a good home the wife is the key to her husbands success.  Husbands, we need to understand this.  God gave you a partner, not a slave.  And as you work together, God will bless.

 

I'm proud to use Dottie as an example.  For 31 years she has been my helpmeet. 

 

ü     She spent much time with the children when I was out going to school and pastored a church.

ü     She proofs the bulletin and prayer sheet, so that most of the mistakes are corrected.

ü     She writes birthday and anniversary cards for the church.

ü     She has worked outside the home when I deemed it necessary.

ü     When I've been away, she's even made a few hospital calls, and although it's not her job, she'll support me by accompanying me on visits.

ü     She directs Bible School, teaches Small Blessings, and a ladies Bible study.   

All of these things and more enhance my ministry.

She is a true helpmeet. I thank God for her.

   

God's purposes for marriage include children and partnership. They also include

·        UNITY

 

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

 

The last purpose of marriage I want to mention is the unity that takes place.  Men, God has made it so that when you marry a wife, the two of you become one.

Men, marriage is not a 50-50 compromise.

Men marriage is each person giving 100%!

 

If you love your wife, you love yourself.

If you hurt your wife, you hurt yourself.

If you are good to your wife, you are good yourself.

You are one flesh!

 

Ephesians 5:28 - So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

 

Husbands, do you want to make your wife happy?

 

UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE

PRACTICE THE PRIORITY OF MARRIAGE

 

Psalm 127:1 - Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it…

 

Jesus said in John 13:13 - Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.

 

Husbands, if Jesus is indeed your Lord and Master, your priority should be to allow Him to be the priority in your marriage.   

   

There are at least two ways that the Lord Jesus should be the priority of your marriage.

 

·        SALVATION

   

Jesus can't be your Lord until He's your Savior.

He's the one who died for your sins.

He's the one who will forgive your sins.

He's the one who invites you to come to Him.

 

Romans 10:9-10 - That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. [10] For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

 

Husbands, will you come to him?   

You can't really help your family until you believe in Him yourself.

 

You and your wife, after trusting Christ yourself, are then responsible for winning your children to Christ. That includes praying for their salvation and seeing that they are taught.

 

Matthew 19:14 - But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

 

Yes, we as a church can help with programs for the children and the presentation of the Gospel in small blessings, Good News Club, and Sunday School.  However, this teaching should be emphasized by you in the home. 

   

And don't tell me that you are afraid of brainwashing your children.

You teach them to eat right.

You teach them to keep clean.

You teach them to brush their teeth.

You teach them to groom correctly.

You see that they get an education.

 

If you believe that your faith in Christ is the truth, teach it to your children as truth.

 

If Jesus is going to be the priority in your house, teach salvation, and also teach

·        SANCTIFICATION

 

The word sanctification means to set apart for God.

Teach your children by your example and your words what it means to be God's servant.

 

What you teach your children by your example and words will help to determine what your child will be like and what he will teach his children when you grow up.

 

Be sporadic in your prayer life, and your child will be sporadic.

Don't read the Bible at home and your children won't read the Bible.

 

Use any excuse to miss church and your child will use any excuse to miss church.

Practice bad habits and your child will learn those same bad habits.

 

Be consistent in your prayers and Bible reading, and your child will learn consistency.

Be faithful to your church, and your child will learn faithfulness.

Practice good habits and your child will learn those same good habits.

 

1 Peter 1:15-16 - But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

 

Husbands, make your wife happy.

 

UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE

PRACTICE THE PRIORITY OF MARRIAGE

PRACTICE PURITY IN MARRIAGE

 

I begin by saying that the physical relationship between a husband and wife is a beautiful thing. It is something that is ordained of God. It is meant to be enjoyed.

 

Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

 

But Satan has a great time in exploiting this principle.

 

In Jesus' day the religious leaders were teaching that the physical act of adultery, having sexual relations with another man's wife or husband was wrong. They were right.   

 

But in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus expands the definition of adultery.

 

Matthew 5:27-28 - Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: [28] But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

 

If, in your heart you look upon a woman or a man and imagine a sexual relationship with that man or woman, You are committing adultery in your heart.

 

Husbands, that's why pornography is so wrong.  Looking at scantily clad women or naked woman will only get your thoughts going, and cause you to be unfaithful in your heart to your own wife.  And it is from the thoughts of our hearts that our actions result.  Very often the thoughts will lead to the actual act.  

 

Matthew 15:19 - For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

 

How do we go about maintaining purity?

Matthew 5:29 - And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

 

Jesus is not speaking literally here. He doesn't want you to literally pluck out an eye or cut off a foot.

But he is telling you to do whatever it takes to maintain purity, no matter how radical it may seem.

If watching certain movies or television shows causes you to have impure thoughts, don't watch them!

If looking at certain magazines causes you to have impure thoughts, don't look at those magazines.

If going to certain places, causes you to have impure thoughts, don't go to those places.

   

1 Corinthians 10:13 - There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

 

UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE

PRACTICE THE PRIORITY OF MARRIAGE

PRACTICE PURITY IN MARRIAGE

PRACTICE THE PERMANENCE OF MARRIAGE

 

Matthew 5:31-32 - It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: [32] But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

 

First, a word to some of you who have not had permanent marriages. We love you the way you are now. The past is the past. The marriages that you are now in should be permanent. You can't go back.

 

If God convicts you that you were wrong to divorce and remarry, confess it and allow God to forgive you. Leave the past and work on the right relationship now.

 

In the days of Jesus, any excuse for divorce would do. A bad meal could be grounds for divorce.

 

In the verses before us Jesus shows us that the reasons for divorce are so limited, that no one should plan on practicing them.

The reason for divorce given here is fornication. What this means is hotly debated by scholars. It certainly has to do with some form of immorality.

 

Let's just say this morning, as our time is gone, that Jesus wants your marriage to be permanent.  Husbands, that should be your goal as a good husband.

 

Problems can be worked out.

Restoration to love and respect can take place.

Forgiveness can and should be practiced, even if unfaithfulness is involved.

 

Husbands, you will make your wife happy, and more importantly you will make the Lord happy if you

 

UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE

Children

Partnership

Unity

PRACTICE THE PRIORITY OF MARRIAGE

Salvation

Sanctification

PRACTICE PURITY IN MARRIAGE

PRACTICE THE PERMANENCE OF MARRIAGE